I seem to be experiencing a rollercoaster-type of existence here. I'm trying to think of words to express some of my feelings and emotions.
I'll start with the children (the ones specifically from the slums). To be completely honest, some days my empathy is stronger than others. Sometimes I feel a sense of frustration because the children don't seem to listen and spend much of the time fighting, hitting or throwing things at each other....or crying because one of the aforementioned three things just happened to them. Ms. Righteous (me) thinks "why can't these children learn proper manners?" Then, in the next moment/hour/day I find myself with an opposing viewpoint: "Why should these children stop hitting, grabbing, yelling? This is the way that they SURVIVE when they are not in school." Considering my time with them is short, I understand that change may come slowly. In fact, the change may not even be obvious or tangible with these children, but perhaps in the next generation, with their children. Can you sense the rollercoaster of emotions through my words?
Another example: If you have white skin you pay more for a purchase or service. If I think about it too much and in a negative way, I can get myself in a bit of a tizzy because there is obvious discrimination...and I'm on the receiving end! When I notice this happening, I consciously pause and reflect on the situation. Many of the people, at least in my area of Mumbai, are poor. Not only that, but many of their customers are in the same financial situation. Should I be offended that vendors and retailers want to glean more money from foreigners? If I was white and poor and in India then the answer might be "yes". If I am white and wealthy when compared to these people, why on earth would I be offended to pay the equivalent of ten cents for a banana instead of the five cents that a local person would pay?
I think that my enjoyment of this (? diverse, contradictory, challenging) country is dependent on my ability to focus on love and acceptance and to allow my natural curiosity to open doors (in my mind) that might otherwise be shut.
This post was a challenging one for me. I hope that my words took you on the rollercoaster with me for at least a bit.
Thanks for stopping by!
I'll start with the children (the ones specifically from the slums). To be completely honest, some days my empathy is stronger than others. Sometimes I feel a sense of frustration because the children don't seem to listen and spend much of the time fighting, hitting or throwing things at each other....or crying because one of the aforementioned three things just happened to them. Ms. Righteous (me) thinks "why can't these children learn proper manners?" Then, in the next moment/hour/day I find myself with an opposing viewpoint: "Why should these children stop hitting, grabbing, yelling? This is the way that they SURVIVE when they are not in school." Considering my time with them is short, I understand that change may come slowly. In fact, the change may not even be obvious or tangible with these children, but perhaps in the next generation, with their children. Can you sense the rollercoaster of emotions through my words?
Another example: If you have white skin you pay more for a purchase or service. If I think about it too much and in a negative way, I can get myself in a bit of a tizzy because there is obvious discrimination...and I'm on the receiving end! When I notice this happening, I consciously pause and reflect on the situation. Many of the people, at least in my area of Mumbai, are poor. Not only that, but many of their customers are in the same financial situation. Should I be offended that vendors and retailers want to glean more money from foreigners? If I was white and poor and in India then the answer might be "yes". If I am white and wealthy when compared to these people, why on earth would I be offended to pay the equivalent of ten cents for a banana instead of the five cents that a local person would pay?
I think that my enjoyment of this (? diverse, contradictory, challenging) country is dependent on my ability to focus on love and acceptance and to allow my natural curiosity to open doors (in my mind) that might otherwise be shut.
This post was a challenging one for me. I hope that my words took you on the rollercoaster with me for at least a bit.
Thanks for stopping by!
2 comments:
It was much the same when I was in Mexico in 1973. Gringos were milked for the extra dollar, and it was dangerous to be in some neighborhoods if you weren't with a local. We can't judge their culture by ours, in the same way that when they come to our country they shouldn't expect it to be the same as their home country.
I can only imagine the many highs and lows there will be in a country so different than our own. But what an amazing opportunity to be able to move yourself more and more to that place of love and acceptance, not judgement. How many opportunities in our life are we pushed to grow that much? You continue to inspire me, Kim.
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